Friday, June 10, 2011
2.25am. I am still awake. Actually, I have been awake at this time for the past few days (whole of the holidays till now). I am waking up at 11am - 12pm everyday. I stone for a while and then figure out what to have for lunch (or even if I would want to have). After which, when I feel like it I will scribble 3-5 letters on a paper, as if I am doing work. Then, I will go back in front of the computer and watch videos and see updates on Facebook. By 3-4pm, I will recieve a call from my grandfather asking what to eat for dinner. Following that, I continue to waste my time. Then I will get my dinner, gobble it up and stone in front of the television for a while. Usually by 10pm, I will do a little more work and finish probably 1/10 of what I set to finish for the day. Then, I will try to keep in touch with the world by reading newspaper and half of the time I can't absorb anything in. While I do that, I will watch my taiwan variety show and also put on mask (just started in the hols) to heal my horrible skin. By then, it is about 12am. I will try to sleep, but eventually will end up in front of the computer watching Youtube videos till I get tired and sleep. It will usually be about 2-3am. That roughly sums up my unproductive day when I am staying at home. I do literally nothing. I have no excuse for myself. I am just lazy. Pure lazy. I just read a SMS that I sent 5months ago to some one close, and it reads: " When people are busy with work, relationships with friends tend to break and gets lost. But luckily for me, mine are still there.' My heart literally scrunged up after reading that line. One of the reason is that I haven't even been talking much to that person I sent that SMS to. A recent meet up with my closest group of friends has also caused me to think a bit. Has things really changed? Personally, I hate changes. There have been so much changes in my life for the past 18 years that I really really really do not like when things are changing. It takes me a while to accept that it is really changing and a longer time to adapt to the change. I am ranting a lot and I feel like a spoilt kid. Someone that has no sense that there are people in the other parts of the world that are living in worse conditions than you. There might be even people in my own country, Singapore. But I am really feeling horrible, terrible. I do not usually blog cause I prefer pouring things out to a human rather than a machine. But for now, I am left with this machine in front of me. If that is how things have changed, I really need to learn how to adapt fast cause this is a change that I really dislike. I really feel like a spoilt kid that always feels not satisfied. But I am not really happy and it is affecting my work which will then affect my future. It is something that is pressing for me to deal with so that it does not affect that much. As I said, I usually will talk to a someone. So this typing on the computer really isn't helping at all. That's all, I've got to say/complain. BYE!
Stuffs I painted @ Friday, June 10, 2011
